Me, My hot chocolate and My book at medical city

I decided to spend my time here inside Starbucks while waiting for my turn to do mammogram and breast scan. I'm alone, and I guess its better to be by myself when I'm doing this stuff.

A bit relaxing compared to the breast clinic upstairs...with coffee's aroma and sweet breads, together with soft music. I can feel its Christmas when I sat at the chair near the corner.

Hot signature chocolate with visitor's sticker from Medical City :)

Since I had sick and need to go to the doctor often, I learned to read books and novels. My weapon against waiting game hehehe!! Now I'm reading Hunger Games (borrowed from my daughter's book shelf)...beginning to like it and planning to read the two more books. *** By the way, i wrote this letter last December 2012...late post.

procrastination

Yeah its in my mind... i need to see my surgeon, also the radiologist. I need to visit Medical City again (supposedly last August). I don't know what's wrong with me until now haven't decided. i'm preoccupied with a lot of things. Maybe so lazy to see them...hear the same thing or more on SCARED to hear new findings.


...2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 can't deny that I'm counting those years...and asking myself am I living my second life to the fullest? Is there such a thing or idea? Living your life to the fullest? Hmmm ... I suppose it is an illusion. Sloppy words maybe...

Cine Europa 2012 (2 days in Paris)

our free tickets

I really wanted to spend the whole Saturday watching Cine Europa at Shangrila Mall...but my husband doesn't have a lot of patience in waiting. At first, I wanted to see 2 days in paris, but we end up watching 'Kozelat" a Bulgarian movie.

For an instant, I became fan of Julie Delpy...found myself searching for her other movies. And guess what?!!!...all of them are love stories hehehe...how she enjoyed it, became loser, and how she became victorious over that matter. In Julie Delpy's world its all about LOVE. LOVE..LOVE  ..and I liked it!!!

Just want to share this scenario from her movie 2 days in paris: so lovely! Real and emotional :) hehehe

To sum up the four hours of discussion that followed, it’s not easy being in a relationship much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage. Jack confessed to me his fear of being rejected if I truly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me. Jack realized after two years of being with me that he didn’t know me at all, nor did I know him. And to truly love each other, we needed to know the truth about each other, even if it’s not so easy to take.

So I told him the truth, which was I’d never cheated on him and I also told him that I’d just seen Matthieu that afternoon. He did not get mad at me because nothing had happened, of course. I confessed to Jack that the toughest thing for me was to decide to be with someone for good. The idea that this is it, this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. To decide that I will make the effort to stay and work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem is very difficult for me. I told him I could not be full with just one man for the rest of my life. It was a lie but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters. I thought it was quite funny. Then he said something that hurt my feelings. The tone changed drastically. Then I misunderstood what he was saying. I thought he meant he didn’t love me anymore and that he wanted to break up with me.

It always fascinates me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that it’s over, that I’ll never see him again like this, well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drink up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, ****. Forget the one and only.

Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere. And after two years of loneliness, meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well.
There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover anymore from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you 60 percent of the time, well, you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well, you love his sneezes more than anyone else’s kisses.

True!

Heart of worship

A Long And Winding Path

Sometimes the path of life seems impossibly steep and lengthy. I have no strength and no will for the journey. Then I remember God knew this path long before I was called to walk it. He has always known the difficulties I would experience, the pain that I could never explain to another. He knows and offers His presence.

     Perhaps you’re overwhelmed with sadness today. It may be the weight of a difficult ministry; the worry of a hard marriage; the sorrow of a struggling child; the care of an aging parent; other troubles that come with life. “Surely,” you say, “God would not have me walk this way. There must be another, easier path for me to travel.”

     But are any of us wise enough to know that some other way would make us into better and wiser children? No, our Father in heaven knows the best path, out of all possible paths, to bring us to completion (Ps. 142:3).

    His ways are higher than our ways; His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isa. 55:9). We can humbly take the path He has marked out for us today, and do so in absolute trust in His infinite wisdom and love. He is wiser and more loving than we can ever know. He who sees has foreseen and will not lead us astray.----our daily bread

Touch a Life

Lord, grant me a heart of compassion
So burdened for others’ needs
That I will show Your kindness
In attitudes, words, and deeds. —Fitzhugh

Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can,
for all the people you can, while you can.